The Bureau of Fantastical and Arcane Affairs Formal Complaint Submission Form

Please note: responses may take up to a fortnight. Should you require any assistance, please contact the appropriate office. Do not submit this form again. Duplicate submissions will be ceremonially fed to the shredder golem. If you are experiencing parking issues, please contact the Magical Association of Parking Mystical Animals and Fantastical Beasts (MAPMAFB). Due to backlog, responses may be delayed further by lunar cycles, bureaucratic eclipses, or union-mandated tea breaks.

If you must reach us by phone, please whisper your query into the nearest snail shell and await further instruction. Please refrain from contacting us via carrier phoenix, as the fire hazard waiver form (Form 42-B) is currently out of stock. Refund requests will be carefully reviewed, shredded, and then used as kindling in the office hearth. Warmth not guaranteed. For issues regarding curses, hexes, or enchanted flatware, please forward your complaint to the Ministry of Mild Inconveniences. All disputes will be settled via arm-wrestling with our departmental troll. The troll is undefeated. No actual help is guaranteed. For expedited service (purely symbolic), please ensure you wishlist The Bureau of Fantastical & Arcane Affairs on Steam.